Glenda had a strong personality and impressive energy, but she spent a lot of time arguing against herself. She was so judgmental and critical that she undermined herself from moving forward toward any success. Glenda had the internal negative self talk that was relentless.
Not only did she criticize herself constantly, but she also second guessed herself. Nothing she did was ever good enough. She wasn’t good enough. The message Glenda kept giving herself was that she couldn’t be who she wanted to be or live the way she wanted to.
It was time to stop the insanity. But, it seemed to be impossible to stop that negative voice.
Many of the things we want to change in our lives are challenging. Sometimes even taking the steps to achieve what we want is hard. There’s also the way we make it harder, by becoming the biggest obstacle to our success by getting in our own way.
We get stuck in ambivalence.
“I want it. I don’t want to do what it takes to get it.”
“I’m afraid to do what it takes to get what I want.”
What a merry go round we get on.
We’ve all heard that negative voice, and it goes on and on and on until it wears us down and we just give up.
It’s good to know that when we make a decision to do something, it actually makes it easier to do the thing we want to do.
Just like you and me, Glenda had the mentality that is trying to “protect” us by not putting ourselves in a position where we might fail. If we don’t take a risk , we stop ourselves from proving that we’re worthless and not enough The voice in our heads says to us…..”
“You probably can’t do it, anyway,”
“What if you fail? You’ll be a loser.”
“Are you sure you want to do it? It’ll be too hard.”
“It’s probably not a good thing for you to do.”
Glenda had to step back and change her perspective. She was so entrenched in the self limiting prison of negative self talk. She had to get into a new and different position where she could see clearly how she was getting in her own way.
Then Glenda had to look at what she wanted and why.
She had to know that she was capable of making a change and that her future could be better than the present.
Glenda had to remember if she wanted the bigs things in life, she had to start small. All the little things, the small choices we make that become our reality. Our choices are based on our values. So she had to discover what her top values and priorities were. What was important to her.
Glenda realized the difference between identifying the possible obstacles and allowing her negative self talk to take over. She started to act like a supportive friend to herself.
Step by step she created the path from being disheartened to dreaming of what she wanted and then making it happen.
Glenda learned that transformation started with one small step in the right direction when she was in alignment with her values.